sometimes I'm suffocated

I dont want him.

Not at all. I want

something

new and exciting and fun...

No one snuggles right. Family sucks. Mom is no good. My friends come close but it doesn't compare, doesn't feel right.

I drank on friday. Drunk on pinot. the future wine conessuer drunk on 4-6 glasses (i think, losing count sucks) of cheap pinot grigio (I much prefer red)
The beautiful feeling of dancing and not caring.
Even to something like "my neck, my back"
All the time introducing myself, my drunken giggly stupid self, to the british soccer boys.

Most humored me.

I didnt get as far as my friends Kim and Stephanie...bitches. In fact I ended up online after everyone had gone home, from 2 am to 4 am, trying so hard to type...

In short, I got no where.

I guess I'm thankful for it. I dont do meaningless shit anymore. Not to my knowledge. I dont have much opportunity for acting stupid, no feelings, lust.

Im just itching, have been for a while, thats all and I'm a bit pissed about it.

This trip to Cali has been fun, but believe me I am so so glad to go home. one more day and I get my friends and my bed and everything I know back.

Many concerts... Much being out late, but mom and dad wont be back for a long while so I guess its ok. Doing what I like.... sleeping till two and whatnot.

School next week. THANK GOD. I hated having a life without real purpose.

Just a need to vent.
The writing vent isnt satisfied but.... It will be I suppose